MAINSTREAM
You may have heard some of these before, but they're still funny.
On this Page: Jerky Boys, Classic Jerky Boys, The Jerky Boys MTV Special, Tom Mabe, John Musacha, Telephone Head,
JERKY BOYS
Have you heard this one?:
Sounds of the Underground - Several short, insulting calls. (Rated R)
Enjoy! Here's some CLASSIC JERKY BOYS audio:
FRANK RIZZO
Irate Tile Man - The first Jerky Boys clip any of us probably ever heard. (Rated R)
Santa's Delivery - Not so Merry a Christmas. (Rated R)
Insulator Job - He's tougher than nails, can't you tell? (Rated R)
Fava Beans - Some problems with the beans. (Rated R)
Cold Feet - Acupuncture can cure anything. (Rated R)
1-800 How's My Driving? - You've seen the signs. Have you ever had complaints like this? (Rated R)
Auto Mechanic - Calling about the mechanic job. (Rated R)
Car Salesman - It's easy to see that he would be an excellent car salesman. (Rated R)
Angry Camper's Dad - Summer camp has been tough on Rizzo's son. (Rated R)
Drinking Problem - He needs some treatment. (Rated PG)
Paint Job - The character is Mike Deruchi, but he must be a close - cousin of Rizzo. (Rated PG)
Volunteer - The lighter side of Rizzo (??) (Rated G)
Lawn Equipment - Someone responded to an Adv. the Jerky Boys placed selling lawn equipment. (Rated G)
KISSEL
Uncle Freddie - The first Kissel clip ever heard. Kissel's personality became much more defined in the calls that follow. (Rated R)
Kissel Sails - Kissel needs to rent a yacht. (Rated R)
TV Repair - Problems with the picture. (Rated PG)
I Love to Sing - This is a FAVORITE Kissel clip! Classic! (Rated G)
SOL ROSENBERG
Problem With Glasses - They're not just falling down his nose here. (Rated R)
Warts - Sol has a terrible medical problem. (Rated R)
Lawn Equipment Debate - Sol placed an Adv. for lawn equipment. This caller is having a hard time getting information about the equipment. (Rated G)
Sol's Chainsaw Shock (Part 1) - Another Adv. placed by Sol. (Rated G)
Sol's Chainsaw Shock (Part 2) - Follow-up call to Part 1 <a few minutes later>. (Rated G)
Firecracker - A little mishap after the 4th of July. (Rated G)
Bird Feed - Buying bird feed should be easier. (Rated G)
Punitive Damages - Sue Everybody! (Rated G)
Hemorrhoids - Sol is in some really bad pain! (Rated PG)
Civil War Memorabilia (Part 1) - Yet another Adv. that Sol placed in the paper. (Rated G)
Civil War Memorabilia (Part 2) - A different caller after the same goods as in Part 1. (Rated G)
Hey Sir! - You can only appreciate this if you've heard some of Sol's other calls. Listen to the guy laughing as Sol rambles. (Rated PG)
TARBASH
Egyptian Magician - Too many magic acts for one show. (Rated G)
Pizza Lawyer - "He hit me so hard". (Rated G)
Dental Malpractice - Bad experience with the dentist. (Rated PG)
Snake Charmer - The snake became aggressive, apparently. (Rated G)
Stop That - Tarbash wants to take his magic show to a new venue. (Rated PG)
Little Elves Cleaning Service - Big party last night. (Rated G)
Bamm! - Tarbash as a rap star. (Rated G)
Japanese Restaurant - Same Jerky Boy, somewhat different character. (Rated G)
JACK TORS
Paradise - Muffin Shop delights. (Rated PG)
Model on the Runway - People love it! (Rated PG)
Breast Enlargement - Several other procedures needed. (Rated PG)
The Mattress King - Test out the mattress. (Rated R)
Floral Design Shop - Some great designs for the flower shop. (Rated R)
A Little Emergency - What could this emergency be? (Rated R)
Facelift Without Surgery - Something doesn't sound right. (Rated R)
Hairdresser - I can bring some clients out. (Rated R)
Florida, The Tropical State - A response to an Adv. placed by Jack. (Rated R)
Bacon - OOH, What's that smell? (Rated G)
The Need to Dance - I think Jack may have called MTV on this one. (Rated R)
I get by with a great amount of help from 
EarthStation1: Jerky Boys Wavs.
All tracks are available in finer music stores.
Check out some of these audio files, then go buy this tape (called DON'T HANG
UP, TOUGH GUY) at a record store.
Kissel's Reflections/Public Telephone/I Want To Do Some Hairstyling - Well, just listen to this montage from the tape. (Rated R)
Singing Audition - Tarbash is wanting to audition his singing for MTV. (Rated G)
Re-Shoot the Nine Inch Nails Video - Jack Tors is feeling very creative. (Rated R)
Video Complaint - Kissel in one of his usual complaining modes. We all know people like this (Rated PG)
That New Weezer Video - Whoo, Whoo, I look just like Buddy Holly. Oh, Oh, and you're Mary-Tyler-Moore. (Rated R)
TELE-MARKETERS SUCK!
They are the scum of the earth! And when you give them a hard time, they tell you "Don't get mad at me, I'm just doing my job". Well.....Get a different job! Flip burgers! Work in a retail store! Don't turn this around on me. You called me, remember? If you don't want hostility, don't call back (and many more things that are not fit to print!).
On the lighter side, Tom Mabe got creative and really tried to make every telemarketer that called him earn their money. As the story goes, he had a recording studio in his home. The problem was he could never concentrate on his work because tele-marketers would call him all damn day. Finally, he decided that when a tele-marketer called, he would ask them to call back in an hour. In the meantime, he would devise a scheme to waste THEIR time when they called back.
Support Your Local Police - Was this cop on-duty? Notice "Mr. Mabe" smoking a joint near the beginning of the call. (Rated PG) Near the end of the call is a separate tele-marketer asking for the "Lady of the House" - listen and learn.
Come Over Here and Bring Me Some Beer - Listen and Learn. (Rated PG)
Click here to check out this guy's web page. There are Tom Mabe products for sale here as well.
Laundry - This is a hilarious phone call (my favorite) to a laundromat. The laundromat ruined this guy's Spring Break trip. (Rated R).
VCR problems - VCRrrra. What about page 5? (Rated R and then some).
Hear more calls at John Musacha.
These are some pretty funny calls from Telephone Head. Please buy the album so he'll come out with more of his humor.
RudeJohn - Rude Johnny. Pretty Funny. (Rated PG)
BigRick - Big Bad Rick The caller just won't give up. (Rated PG)
Karate - Karate Kid. Karate will never be the same. (Rated PG)
This tape is available in finer music stores.